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<title>love is still love even if all goes to shit by lurKINGaroundd</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23395390">love is still love even if all goes to shit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurKINGaroundd/pseuds/lurKINGaroundd'>lurKINGaroundd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Dramatic, Everyone Is Emo, F/M, I was drinking beer in the morning and this happened I guess, Reunions, Romance, and depressed, but that's life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:28:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23395390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurKINGaroundd/pseuds/lurKINGaroundd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m just really, really, lonely.” Peter confessed.</p>
<p>“I warned you’d be.” MJ didn’t let him unsettle her yet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michelle Jones &amp; Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>love is still love even if all goes to shit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m just really, really, lonely.” Peter confessed.</p>
<p>“I warned you’d be.” MJ didn’t let him unsettle her yet.</p>
<p>Peter smiled, he didn’t fake it really well, and it was obvious her reply had unsettled him at least a little bit. Still, he took the liberties to fully enter her bedroom and to sit at the edge of her window. She didn’t say anything against it and he took it as a sign that he was allowed to stay, despite her somewhat bitter response to the reason why he had showed up. </p>
<p>“Can you give me a break?” Peter asked with a bit of humor in his voice, in an attempt not to sound like he was begging.</p>
<p>Looking at him sitting by the window, like nothing’s wrong made MJ a bit mad, mostly because it reminded her of their teenage years, and how he would appear, sit there, and they would talk and be in love, ignoring whatever was wrong in each other’s lives. </p>
<p>“Not really.” MJ answered, trying to remain unfazed and ignoring the memories in her head. “You broke my heart, after all.”</p>
<p>He should’ve expected that, Peter thought. At least she was taking longer than Ned to tell him to fuck off. “Why haven’t you told me to get out yet?”</p>
<p>MJ knew she had only one answer to that question. She uncrossed her arms and sat on her bed, not in defeat, but finally a little vulnerable. “Because I miss you too.”</p>
<p>Peter sighed in relief, as if MJ had been pointing a gun at him this whole time and now she had finally put it down. </p>
<p>She wasn’t done, though. “Isn’t Felicia Hardy enough company to you?”</p>
<p>“It’s not like that.” Turns out MJ had just briefly hid the gun behind her back, and now she was pointing it at him again. “That’s just some shit the news made up.” He was telling the truth. </p>
<p>She scoffed, even though what he did in his private life had nothing to do with her, it’s been like that for some years. “It didn’t look like that in the pictures.”</p>
<p>“Weird angles.” Peter explained, still telling the truth. “Are you jealous?” He didn’t ask it to be snarky, but because he genuinely wanted to know.</p>
<p>“No.” MJ wasn’t quite sure if she was telling the truth or not, but it didn’t really matter. “I just thought she was perfect for you, you know, since she’s from your world, so you don’t have to be alone.”</p>
<p>“It’s not like that.” Peter repeated, his voice small. “I…” He didn’t know what else to say. “I just wanted to see you and listen to your voice.”</p>
<p>“When I told you not to leaves us, many times, and that doing so would make you miserable…” She took a deep breath. “… you didn’t listen. So what’s the point now?” </p>
<p>Peter didn’t respond.</p>
<p>“You don’t get to come back, and pretend you want Ned and I back in your life, as if you’re not going to leave us to the first threat, to the first bad guy that says they’re going to hurt us.” MJ continued, at this point she was crying. “You don’t get to not let us see your face for years and then come back as if you weren’t the one who hurts us.”</p>
<p>From the beginning, Peter had known it was a mistake to try and see them. He was desperately sinking in loneliness and had thought that even if they were  only to say hurtful things to him, it would still be worth it, he’d still get to see the only people left in this world that at least once upon a time loved him. </p>
<p>May’s anniversary had arrived again, and Peter made a choice when he saw the flowers MJ and Ned had left in her grave. It hurt, and now he was confused if it was really loneliness or self-hatred that had drove him there. Either way, MJ was crying and he realized his selfishness. </p>
<p>“You don’t get to do that.” MJ said, her voice trembled as she tried to dry her tears.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Peter begged. “I’m sorry for coming here. I’m sorry for everything.”</p>
<p>“Are you going to ask me to take you back?” MJ questioned, tears dried.</p>
<p>“No.” He answered. “Would you take me back if I did?”</p>
<p>“No.” She wanted to kiss him, and she hoped he wanted to kiss her too. MJ hated herself a little bit for it. She was currently with someone else, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him, still, MJ was capable of bringing herself to confess something else. “I love you,”</p>
<p>Peter finally concluded that it was definitely both loneliness and self-hatred that drove him there. He was willing to bet that MJ saying those words now hurt more than if she had told him to go away the second she saw his face.</p>
<p>“I love you too.” He really wanted to kiss her, but instead of kissing her, Peter went away.</p>
<p>“Never let me go, promise?” MJ had asked him all these years ago.</p>
<p>“I promise.” Peter had answered. It was a lie, he had known it even back then, and it didn’t take long for him to break that promise along with her heart.</p>
<p>At least, in some point in life, he loved MJ and she loved him back. Peter didn’t know for how long this would do as consolation, but for now that’s all he had. That’s all he has.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.)</p>
<p>It's been long since I last posted and this is just a little attempt of trying to write since I've lost the hang of it. Sorry if it's not so good.</p>
<p>Please, leave me comments, I'd really appreciate, and love to know what you think!!</p>
<p>Stay safe out there, kids! Take care.</p>
<p>Tumblr: @lurkingg-around</p>
<p>Thank you so much for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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